I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
