his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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