My pussy is not your playground.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
