I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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