Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize