Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
