I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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