Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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