Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You've changed since you got that strap on
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
