Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
