Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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