I am in a vortex of obligation.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Four minutes until I can fart!
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We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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