The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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