he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
