I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
