So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize