I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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