its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
