I'm gonna have a badass scar
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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