oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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