Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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