This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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