i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Someone came in the potted fern
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
