You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
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You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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