Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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