U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
