told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
