I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
