Please, let me fuck your mom
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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