I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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