People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize