and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
