erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
