How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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