Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
