420 ftw
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
