when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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