tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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