Umm I'm too high to move.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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