First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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