i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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