First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
