alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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