Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
