so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize