he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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