Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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