imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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