apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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