I love black thongs
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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