Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
