It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
