isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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