I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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