Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
